August 26, 2010
A year prior to this date I would have given a typical evangelical response if asked about my feelings toward drug trafficking. I would have probably even made elaborate claims about the economical response to such activity, but after this Saturday a year and a half ago my answer is now quit a different story.
Everything is the Lords, He chooses to to give some 10 talents and some but 1. Everything under my watch belongs to Him and I must bear this in mind in every circumstance which I face. He can multiply my talents or He can strip them from me. The widows mill never ran out, 5,000+ people were fed using only a small lunch, and there was plenty of wine at the wedding for all to enjoy the celebration. On the other hand Joseph lost everything he had, Moses fled to the wilderness after obeying the Lord, and Job for reasons which he could not see or comprehend lost his wealth, family, livestock, and even most of his friends.
Today (8-26-10) I lost something. Something very small yet more valuable the associated price tag. Today, I was allowed to see beyond the surface and experience my city the way she truely is. While on our way to a new favela in the northern part of the city to volunteer with a friend from church (Cristiano and his wife) and meet the children he so diligently teaches every single week, the man sitting in front of my brother and I stood up. I do not know his name or his situation all I know is that he had a small boy with him.
He stood as if to exit the bus, but he did not pull the cord. Instead he reached into his pants and pulled a gun. He pointed at my face and nodded at our backpack. "Machila, Machila!" He shouted. I remember looking down at our pack dazed and a bit confused. I paused processing what was happening and with what response I would address such a rude and demanding threat.
My thoughts wondered only for one frozen moment and suddenly time sped rapidly and my consciousness returned my brothers words broke my concentration. "He wants the pack!" Austin shouted, "Give him the backpack!" I am certain Austin thought I simply did not understand as the man was shouting in Portuguese, but I understood perfectly at this point I had developed a basic vocabulary.
My thoughts no longer wondered, I had been in limbo about what I should do, or would my older brother be disappointed in me if I turned over his things as well as mine without even a struggle. I simply obeyed my older brothers command. Looking down the barrel of that gun I never felt afraid. The only emotion I felt was confusion. Confused about why this was happening, confused about what a proper response would be, and confused about how Austin would want me to react.
Looking back on the what happened this response is where I actually learn the most. It was as if I were programmed to do exactly as my older brother said. It was actually the best thing I could have done in the situation, but I still do not completely understand the robotic state that entranced me at that exact moment.
What I did learn for certain is that the Lord is revealing the dangers and evils of this city to me and I must trust in Him alone. Also I am learning to be on a higher level of alertness at all times and be careful about trusting anyone. Trusting anyone to even sit next to me on a bus. We were always on alert.
Great post brother. It reminded me of everything again. How are things?
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